I don't like feeling this way...

I know I should not be feeling this way, but I just can't help it. I have to admit I am jealous! We have "secret pal's" at work, and for some reason mine must not like me. We chose names in September and up until this Tuesday I had not received anything. I think the only reason I got a gift is because I loudly announced that I didn't think my pal loved me too much because I hadn't gotten anything. Now, I just shouldn't have said that, but it came out before I knew it. I just think that if a person is going to participate in this kind of thing, they should give as much as they receive. I admit, I like to do the secret pal thing because I like getting surprises. I do not like getting NOTHING. Anyway, I resigned today from the game and gave my name to who ever was supposed to give to me. I just hope that who ever she is will be better to the one I had. ;0

My Sweet Valentine's

Take time...

This was on the front page on my church bulletin and I want to share it with you.

Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the secret of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the foundation of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.

4 days and counting...

Well, so far I have stuck to my new rule of not buying the children anything. :) This is a very hard thing for me because I like to buy them things. I know that it is not the material things that count in life, but it is nice to have something new every once in a while.

Raising ungrateful children...

Well, I think I have succeeded in spoiling my children so much that they are becoming greedy people! I have a bad habit of buying things for my children~even when they don't need anything. Even though I buy them what they need/want, they always tend to want more.....and then they pitch a fit when they don't get some silly thing. Now, yesterday was one of those days. They needed new tennis shoes, so we went after school to buy some. Actually, Christopher was the only one who "needed" shoes, but I allowed Sarah to pick out some also. They also picked out some rain boots. When we went to pay, they saw some toys at the counter. They both proceeded to pick some toys and throw them in with the shoes. When I told them NO, they both became irate with me and told me I NEVER buy them anything!! Oh, and I went to Target before I picked them up from school and bought new toys that were on sale. (like they needed new toys after Christmas) I was so upset and disheartened with their actions. I guess I have finally reached my limit with the way they act and so I told them both that they would get nothing else until their birthday. I would only buy something if they absoultely needed it (like clothing) I know it is my fault, but I never dreamed they would get this bad.

Babies and God

One of my sweet friends just delivered her 3rd child....a 7lb 7oz baby boy! I am so happy for her and it brings back memories of the birth of my children. What a wonderful thing that God allowed us as women to accomplish. We have the most wonderful and most exhausting job in the world. Although there may be lots of tears, the love and laughter always outweighs the pain. I can't imagine being anything other than a Mother. I feel honored that I was able to have two beautiful children. I only hope that I can raise them to be what God wants them to be.

Scentsy

My Mother is selling a new candle product called Scentsy. I thought I might give her a bit of advertising and help sell some products. I have one of the burners and I love mine. It is a good product in my opinion. I have added a link to her website. I have some catalogs and sample scents if you are interested. My daughter bought a plain warmer and decorated it with stickers. It is really pretty. I'll post a picture later.

New addition to our family...

My sweet husband let us get a kitten this past weekend! He swore we would NEVER have another inside pet....but he had a change of heart! My little boy is thrilled beyond words with this new kitten. He will not leave it alone. We named him "Sox" (socks but I like to spell things differently) He is the sweetest thing and just lets my children pick him up and tote him around. My daughter likes to hold Sox like a baby and rub his neck. Needless to say, the kitten is spoiled!

Journey's

I am on a journey this year. I want to be a better Mother, wife, sister, daughter, Aunt, friend etc. I have learned that there is no better time than the present. I am not normally one to let my problems be known, but I feel like this past month has really broken me down. I have not been myself and I have let sadness get the best of me. I have begun to fear dying. I do not want to die until I am sure that EVERYONE in my life knows how much they mean to me. I do not want to die and have some people wondering if I really loved them or not. I have a fear of my children remembering the bad times instead of all the good time. Memories have a way of tricking us. I have a much easier time remembering the bad things from my childhood and I know there were a lot of good times.
I am trying so hard to be a better Mother. I pray all the time that God will show me the way and help me to have a more peaceful heart. So, 2009, here I come. Ready or not.

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to say Happy New Year to all my friends! I hope this year brings lots of love and happiness to everyone. May God bless you all!

Thankful for family and friends...

This could have easily been the worst Christmas ever for me. Instead, the love and support of my family and friends has sustained me. I am truly blessed by each and everyone in my family. My friends....there are no words to express my gratitude. I am thankful for all the spectacular people in my life!

Hormones and Heartbreak

I am in the midst of my "hulk" week. It couldn't come at a more terrible time. I am battling hormones, sadness, a bit of depression and most of all a broken heart. I am feeling very empty at the moment. I know it will pass, not get better, just pass for a moment. Today I spent the day with my husband. My mother took the children to her house so I could get myself together from the past two weeks events(losing an uncle and friend). Today was great, being with my husband and enjoying each other but memories kept creeping in. Every where I turned, I remembered my friend.

December should be happy....

December has always been my favorite month! I love to see all the Christmas decorations, lights, and most of all excited children waiting on Santa. But this year has brought the worst December of my life so far. One of my dearest friends went to the hospital for routine knee surgery on December 8. She developed a shower of blood clots in her lungs and her heart stopped three times. They revived her only to watch her as she slept for over a week. She passed away at midnight last night. I lost a beloved Uncle unexpectedly on December 12. He was in the hospital for two broken ribs and Pheumonia. He died from complications from COPD. The pain I feel right now is unreal. I have lost a lot of family members, but not a friend. I almost feel like I am not really here. It is surreal right now.

My Friend...

A dear friend of mine went in for routine knee surgery this Monday, and on Tuesday she had a series of blood clots in her lungs and her heart stopped three times. She was without oxygen for 10 minutes and the doctors don't have any answers as to whether or not she will be fully recovered. This lady is something special to me! I worked with her for almost 4 years and have been friends with her for almost 9 years. She is truly a giving person. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for her friends and family. I have never known of her to turn anyone down if they needed her. Now, she needs my prayers. So I ask of you, dear reader, to please pray for my sweet friend, Gale.

Things that make you go HMMMM....

I wonder what Women would be like if Eve hadn't sinned in the Garden of Eden. I am convinced that we women are being continually punished for what Eve did all those years ago. Why else do we suffer once a month and make our family suffer once a month when we(ME) seem to get really angry at the drop of a hat. I seem to be getting worse with age. I can remember when my moods didn't fluctuate so much. NOW, it is "LOOK OUT, TAKE COVER, DON'T LOOK IN HER EYES!" I feel like the swamp thing! I am so terrible to my family and I wonder why they even keep me around. I told my son (who is the main recipient of these bursts of fury) yesterday that I was going to tell his Daddy to get him a NEW mom. I also asked my husband last night to "relieve me of my Mothering duties." HMMMMM do ya think evil has invaded my body????? Today I am not so angry, but the damage is done. I apologized to hubby (by text message), but I dont' think it made much of a difference. His text response was "we can't take it." I do wish that he could feel just once how I feel inside. I think maybe he would be a bit more understanding.

I think ALL males that are marrying females should be required to take a course on how the female mind and body works. Maybe then there woudn't be women like me who go "postal" once a month!! ;)

Christopher turns 5

Well, between school starting and things going on around me, I totally forgot to post Christopher's birthday pix (he turned 5 on August 15)! I feel so bad!! He had a wonderful time with all his friends and got some neat presents. I can't believe my "baby" is 5. It just doesn't seem like he should be this old. I told him that I wanted him to slow down growing and he said " I can't Mommy, God wants me to grow." What a smart boy. He amazes me every day with his wit and wisdom and I am blessed to have him as my son.

Talking to myself...

Well, I am beginning to think I am not so good at being a "stay at home Mom" without any children here! I went to the grocery store for the BIG shopping trip of the month, and I found myself talking out loud to the air! For 8 years I have had a child in the buggy with me. Today I realized I can no longer talk to myself in public.....I might be mistaken for a crazy lady. I did get a couple of strange glances, but if anyone would have stood still for a moment, I would have talked to them. I miss my babies!!!

1st day of school

Sarah and Christopher started school yesterday (Aug 6) She is in 3rd grade and he is in Kindergarten. It is hard to believe my "baby" is in school now. I feel empty being at home alone. I kept hearing echos of thier voices while I was busily cleaning the house.

I read a quote today and tweaked it a bit. Here is my version: "FIND THE FUN IN TODAY!"

I am going to try and do that everyday for my children. Sometimes I get caught up in trying to be the perfect everything that I forget to do the simple things to be happy. Yesterday I could hear Christopher's voice saying "Play with me Mommy." And my voice saying "maybe later." Later is too long.....

Have a blessed day!

A week without children

My children are gone this week for a visit with an Aunt and Uncle. Needless to say, our home is a very quiet and peaceful place right now. I have talked to Sarah on the phone everyday since Sunday(the day they left) She tells me she just wants to talk about what they are doing each day! ;) My heart is aching a bit because I have never been apart from my children for more that three days at a time. This is a new experience for me. Although I have TONS of things I could and need to do, I cannot get over the quietness in the house. It makes me feel so sad when I think of how much time has passed and how fast they are growing. Before I know it they will be grown and gone and once again the house will be silent. In this hectic life sometimes I forget to take time to just "be" with my children and enjoy the NOW. So my prayer for all my friends is that you take the time to just "be" with your families. God bless you all!

Kids first trip on airplane

Our family just got back from a week long visit to Chicago. My husband had a meeting there and asked us all to go for a short vacation! It was the children's first time on an airplane. They were beside themselves! I couldn't get over how excited they were to get on the thing! (I do not like airplanes) They fought over who was going to sit by the window and they laughed and giggled the WHOLE 1 1/2 hour flight!! We had a wonderful time in Chicago and got to see a lot of sights thanks to a generous man that my husband knows. He lives in Chicago and is retired with not much to do. He chauffeured us around for three days and gave us a native look into Chicago. I am so thankful he was so willing to be our guide. It is definitely one of my best vacations yet!!