Hormones and Heartbreak

I am in the midst of my "hulk" week. It couldn't come at a more terrible time. I am battling hormones, sadness, a bit of depression and most of all a broken heart. I am feeling very empty at the moment. I know it will pass, not get better, just pass for a moment. Today I spent the day with my husband. My mother took the children to her house so I could get myself together from the past two weeks events(losing an uncle and friend). Today was great, being with my husband and enjoying each other but memories kept creeping in. Every where I turned, I remembered my friend.

December should be happy....

December has always been my favorite month! I love to see all the Christmas decorations, lights, and most of all excited children waiting on Santa. But this year has brought the worst December of my life so far. One of my dearest friends went to the hospital for routine knee surgery on December 8. She developed a shower of blood clots in her lungs and her heart stopped three times. They revived her only to watch her as she slept for over a week. She passed away at midnight last night. I lost a beloved Uncle unexpectedly on December 12. He was in the hospital for two broken ribs and Pheumonia. He died from complications from COPD. The pain I feel right now is unreal. I have lost a lot of family members, but not a friend. I almost feel like I am not really here. It is surreal right now.

My Friend...

A dear friend of mine went in for routine knee surgery this Monday, and on Tuesday she had a series of blood clots in her lungs and her heart stopped three times. She was without oxygen for 10 minutes and the doctors don't have any answers as to whether or not she will be fully recovered. This lady is something special to me! I worked with her for almost 4 years and have been friends with her for almost 9 years. She is truly a giving person. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for her friends and family. I have never known of her to turn anyone down if they needed her. Now, she needs my prayers. So I ask of you, dear reader, to please pray for my sweet friend, Gale.

Things that make you go HMMMM....

I wonder what Women would be like if Eve hadn't sinned in the Garden of Eden. I am convinced that we women are being continually punished for what Eve did all those years ago. Why else do we suffer once a month and make our family suffer once a month when we(ME) seem to get really angry at the drop of a hat. I seem to be getting worse with age. I can remember when my moods didn't fluctuate so much. NOW, it is "LOOK OUT, TAKE COVER, DON'T LOOK IN HER EYES!" I feel like the swamp thing! I am so terrible to my family and I wonder why they even keep me around. I told my son (who is the main recipient of these bursts of fury) yesterday that I was going to tell his Daddy to get him a NEW mom. I also asked my husband last night to "relieve me of my Mothering duties." HMMMMM do ya think evil has invaded my body????? Today I am not so angry, but the damage is done. I apologized to hubby (by text message), but I dont' think it made much of a difference. His text response was "we can't take it." I do wish that he could feel just once how I feel inside. I think maybe he would be a bit more understanding.

I think ALL males that are marrying females should be required to take a course on how the female mind and body works. Maybe then there woudn't be women like me who go "postal" once a month!! ;)

Christopher turns 5

Well, between school starting and things going on around me, I totally forgot to post Christopher's birthday pix (he turned 5 on August 15)! I feel so bad!! He had a wonderful time with all his friends and got some neat presents. I can't believe my "baby" is 5. It just doesn't seem like he should be this old. I told him that I wanted him to slow down growing and he said " I can't Mommy, God wants me to grow." What a smart boy. He amazes me every day with his wit and wisdom and I am blessed to have him as my son.

Talking to myself...

Well, I am beginning to think I am not so good at being a "stay at home Mom" without any children here! I went to the grocery store for the BIG shopping trip of the month, and I found myself talking out loud to the air! For 8 years I have had a child in the buggy with me. Today I realized I can no longer talk to myself in public.....I might be mistaken for a crazy lady. I did get a couple of strange glances, but if anyone would have stood still for a moment, I would have talked to them. I miss my babies!!!

1st day of school

Sarah and Christopher started school yesterday (Aug 6) She is in 3rd grade and he is in Kindergarten. It is hard to believe my "baby" is in school now. I feel empty being at home alone. I kept hearing echos of thier voices while I was busily cleaning the house.

I read a quote today and tweaked it a bit. Here is my version: "FIND THE FUN IN TODAY!"

I am going to try and do that everyday for my children. Sometimes I get caught up in trying to be the perfect everything that I forget to do the simple things to be happy. Yesterday I could hear Christopher's voice saying "Play with me Mommy." And my voice saying "maybe later." Later is too long.....

Have a blessed day!